Adventures in Babysitting
by BonitaBreezy
Summary: Phil is on a mission, Kate is in a terrible mood, and Clint is just doing his best to keep everything running smoothly. Part of the How Clint Barton Got Himself a Family 'verse.


Clint loved to run. As a kid, before he'd discovered archery, running had been the only thing he'd ever really been good at. He wasn't great at school, and he'd been too small to be an asset on any sports teams, but he'd been fast. Every time there was a field day at school he would win the hundred meter dash, and crossing the finish line ahead of everyone else made him feel like he was worth something when he'd never been given any cause to feel that way about anything else. After he'd dropped out of school and ran away with Barney to join the circus, his fast feet had helped him escape the tons of trouble that he got into, whether it was by his own fault or Barney's. Running had always been something he was good at, but the older he got, the more tired of running he got. Not the action itself, but more what it meant when he did it. He was tired of running away from things, and when he joined SHIELD, he promised himself that he would only run away when he absolutely had to. All other running would simply be because he enjoyed doing it.

And he really did enjoy running, particularly when it was aimless. He loved the feel of his feet pounding the pavement and the way his breath rushed in and out of his lungs. He loved that feeling he got when he suddenly hit the perfect stride and it no longer felt like exercise, and he loved that his thoughts didn't feel quite so jumbled while he pushed himself to go just a bit faster, just a bit farther. He got lost in running like Phil got lost in books, and he tried to make it out to Central Park at least three times a week so that he could do a lap or two around the six mile trail there. There were plenty of other places that he could run besides Central Park, places that were located closer to his and Phil's apartment, but there was just something about the park that he really liked.

He'd already found his stride and ran the loop once and was working his way towards mile nine when his music stopped and suddenly played his factory-set ringtone, the sudden change in tempo startling him and making him stumble. He moved off the trail and into the grass, swiping the screen to answer the phone call as he did so.

Apparently his hello sounded more breathless than he'd thought, because Phil started with, "I'm sorry, were you running?"

"Yeah," Clint said, taking in another deep breath. "I had just over three miles left, but I already did the loop once so it's not a big deal. What's up?"

"Michaela's father had a stroke," Phil reported. "He's going to be okay, but she wants to go to Boston to help her mother out for the first few days until they get settled in with everything."

"Okay," Clint said, confused as to why this was relevant to him. He really liked Michaela, of course, and it sucked that her father had had a stroke, but he didn't understand why he needed a play-by-play either.

"The thing is, she doesn't want to pull Kate out of school for a week, and she'd really just be in the way, so she's going to be staying with us for that time. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with that."

"Of course I'm okay with that!" Clint told him, grinning widely. He loved Kate like she was his own kid. "It's gonna be a blast!"

"Well, it will be a bit different than just having her for a weekend," Phil warned him sternly. "It can't be all fun and staying up until midnight eating junk food."

"Jeez, Phil, are you babysitting me too?" Clint asked.

"I'm just warning you," Phil said, his voice gentling a bit. "We usually have her on weekends when she doesn't have any commitments and we can do whatever we want, and this is going to be different, I promise you.

"All right, all right," Clint said, waving his hand in the air as if Phil could see him. "I get what you're saying, I'll be responsible and boring, I promise."

"Good," Phil responded, his voice sounding warm and amused. "She's got cello lessons right after school and then I'll be picking her up at about five. Do you mind taking care of dinner?"

"Sure," Clint agreed. "I'll wear a frilly apron and everything. Best damn housewife the world has ever seen."

"You're welcome to a frilly apron, but just remember that a ten year old girl will be with me when I get home and wear other clothes as well," Phil said dryly, and Clint grinned.

"Yes, sir," he responded.

"Good. Thank you for being so understanding about this. I've got to go, I love you."

"Love you, too," Clint answered. He thumbed the end button on his phone, checked the time, and then surveyed the path he'd been running on. It was getting close to three, which meant that Kate would be getting out of school soon. If he went straight home and showered, he would have enough time to shower, decide what to make for dinner and pick up ingredients if necessary, and get back and get dinner done by the time six rolled around, which was likely the time Phil and Kate would be walking through the door. Decision made, he stretched out his muscles so they wouldn't cramp up and made his way towards the nearest subway station.

* * *

At 6:07, Clint was pulling a loaf of garlic bread from the oven, and the front door was swinging wide open to admit Kate and Phil.

"Clint!" Kate yelled, rushing into the kitchen. He quickly set down the hot pan, just moments before she went barreling into him, throwing her arms around his waist.

"Hey, Katie-Kate!" he greeted her, wrapping his own arms around her shoulders and rocking her from side to side.

"Kate, please don't run in the kitchen," Phil said, sounding exhausted. "You could hurt yourself."

"Sorry Daddy!" Kate chirped.

"Rough day?" Clint asked Phil as Kate began poking her nose into the food, trying to see what was for dinner.

"Yeah," Phil answered, but he didn't say anything more than that. Clint understood. Kate didn't know about SHIELD, and it seemed Phil would keep her ignorant for as long as he safely could. Personally, Clint thought it would be better if Kate knew the basics, so that she would be safer, but he wasn't going to step on Phil's toes about it either.

"Well, dinner will be ready in five minutes, if you want to take the world's fastest shower," Clint offered, and Phil nodded, already working at the knot in his tie. "Katie, set the table, would you?" Clint asked, turning back to the stove so he could stir the noodles to keep them from burning. Kate did as she was told, chattering nonstop about every aspect of her day as she did so. Apparently Suze Thomas' parents were getting her a dog and Becky Sampson "like liked" Micah Summers, whatever the hell that meant. Clint half-listened and made appropriate sounds the whole time, not really sure how he was supposed to respond to third-grade gossip. He was just draining the pasta when Phil reemerged in sweat pants and one of Clint's t-shirts that said "Archery Geek" across the front. Every year in the Secret Santa exchange at SHIELD, Clint got an archery t-shirt. To be honest he kind of loved them, and that one in particular was one of his favorites. It was worn soft and had a small hole in the left armpit, and Phil was constantly stealing it, so it always smelled like him. It was a good shirt.

"Better?" Clint asked, pouring the spaghetti out of the colander and back into the pan it had been cooked in, pouring the jar of sauce and meatballs on top of it to mix together.

"Almost," Phil said, reaching out for him, and Clint smiled and turned into his husband as he got closer, tilting his head just a bit to receive the kiss Phil planted on his mouth.

"Ew, can you not?" Kate whined. "We're about to eat dinner, do you want me to lose my appetite?"

"Oh god, I'm so sorry we're upsetting your delicate sensibilities. Your father is in love; shouldn't you be happy about that?" Phil snarked at her, putting the garlic bread on a plate and following Clint into the dining room.

"Yeah, sure, just don't be gross," Kate said, taking a seat at the table. Clint dropped off the pan and headed back into the kitchen to grab the plate of asparagus that he'd left on the counter. He set the plate between Kate and Phil as he made his way back to his seat.

"How much do you want, Katie?" Clint asked, her, scooping up a tangle of pasta into the serving spoon.

"That's good," she answered, holding up her plate for him. Clint deposited the food on her plate and then started serving himself. As he did so, Phil speared a few pieces of asparagus and deposited them on Kate's place, earning him a whine.

"No, I don't want any of that, it's gross," she protested, pushing the vegetables away with the tines of her fork as if their mere presence might infect the rest of her food.

"Have you ever even tried it?" Phil asked and Kate frowned at him.

"It's good, Katie," Clint encouraged her. "Just try it." He grabbed a piece of asparagus and took a bite as if to prove it to her, but she looked completely unimpressed.

"I don't want it," she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair, a defiant expression on her face.

"Well, that's too bad," Phil answered nonchalantly. "You're going to eat what you've got on your plate." Kate let out another protesting whining sound, but she picked up her fork and dug into her spaghetti. Clearly believing he'd won, Phil turned back to his own food and began eating so quickly that Clint feared he might choke.

"Chew and then swallow, babe," he offered helpfully, and Phil grimaced, making a show of chewing what he had in his mouth and swallowing.

"Sorry, I'm starved. This is really good."

"Well, thanks," Clint said. "I mean I literally boiled some noodles and baked pre-made meatballs and then threw a jar of sauce on top, but it's good to know my efforts are appreciated."

"Of course they are. You're such a good wife."  
Clint snorted in amusement and focused his attention back on eating.

"So what's going on in your life, Kate?" Phil asked after a few minutes of only the sounds of their forks scraping against plates.

"I dunno," Kate shrugged. "I got an 95 on my English essay."

"That's really good. I'm very proud of you," Phil praised her immediately, and she smiled down at her lap.

"Yeah, well. I mean it wasn't that hard. It was just about what we did over the summer. I wrote about how you guys took me to Disney World, and there was a lot to say."

Clint smiled at the memory of the four days they'd spent in Florida. By some minor miracle, the world had managed to hold itself together long enough for the three of them to enjoy an uninterrupted vacation. Of course when they'd gotten back it seemed like there was three times as much work to be done as usual, but it had definitely been worth it.

"Did you bring it with you?" Clint asked. "I'd like to read it."

"No," Kate shrugged again. "My teacher hung them all up on the wall because parent-teacher night is Thursday."

Clint and Phil exchanged a glance, and Clint could already see him flipping through his mental calendar and rearranging things so that he would be able to attend.

"So I can read it there, then," Clint said, satisfied. Kate nodded, and the discussion swept on, Phil asking parent-questions and Kate responding with various levels of enthusiasm. Clint contributed to the discussion a bit, but mostly he just watched his husband interact with their daughter and felt warm and gooey on the inside.

Clint was just getting ready to start clearing his plate from the table, when Phil spoke, his voice a bit sharper than it had been.

"Kate, I told you to eat your vegetables."

Immediately, her good mood was gone and she scowled at him, pushing her plate away from her deliberately.

"I don't _want _them," she insisted.

"I don't care if you want them. You're going to eat them," Phil responded, fixing her with a glare that had made grown men tremble. Kate didn't seem concerned at all. She crossed her arms over her chest, sat up straight and glared right back.

"You can't make me," she said, and Clint felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Kate was strong-willed and always had been, but he'd never seen her quite like this before.

"If you mean that I can't force-feed you, then you're right," Phil said, completely calm. "But you will sit at this table until you eat those vegetables. Do you understand me, young lady?"

Kate grumbled under her breath, but the challenge didn't leave her eyes.

"Fine, stay here all night if you want," Phil shrugged. He stood up, and the look he sent Clint clearly said that he should too, if he was done. Clint was, so he stood and gathered his plate, bringing it into the kitchen. Phil rinsed his plate and put it in the dishwasher and then headed back to finish clearing the table as if nothing was wrong.

Clint felt kind of awkward, but he just followed Phil's lead. It wasn't often that they had to punish Kate while she was with them. Usually it was fun weekends and overnights where they stayed up late and had a good time. But he could see now that it was clearly different, and he wasn't sure how to handle that. He could do fun, but wasn't so sure about strict parenting. He was glad Phil was there to handle it. They loaded up the dishwasher and set it to run, and the whole time Kate sat at the table glowering at her plate.

"So…" Clint said, trailing off awkwardly.

"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" Phil asked. "I figured I'd pop one in while I did some paperwork. And you have some you should be doing as well," he added sternly.

"Anything Mel Brooks and you have a deal," Clint answered with a grin, trying to ignore Kate's cloudy presence as well as Phil seemed to be doing. "But I'm gonna take a quick shower first, okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll get it all set up."

Clint showered quickly and changed into a pair of lounge pants and a black t-shirt with the SHIELD logo across the chest, heading back towards the living room less than ten minutes later. Kate was still sitting at the table, now sitting on the opposite side so that her back was to the television and Phil was seated on the couch with one stack of paperwork in his lap and the other waiting on the table for Clint. He groaned quietly when he saw it, but pressed up close to Phil on the couch and pulled about half the stack into his lap. Phil hit the play button, and Clint grinned as the opening scene of Robin Hood: Men in Tights began to play.

"You are the best," he told Phil, and Phil shrugged.

"Yeah, I know."

Phil yawned pretty steadily through the movie, and after a while Clint realized that he would have gone to sleep pretty quickly after they'd eaten if not for having to stay up and keep an eye on Kate. Clint almost offered to let him go to bed a few times before wimping out at the idea of having to actually enforce a punishment.

The movie was almost over when the sound of a chair scraping across the floor came from the dining room and Kate picked up her now empty plate from the table. Phil smiled to himself in satisfaction and leaned a little more against Clint's side. Kate shuffled into the living room and sat at the opposite end of the couch.

"Do you have any homework?" Phil asked immediately, and Kate stiffened.

"Just some math problems," she answered. "Can't I wait until the end of the movie?"

"Kate, it's 8:30. Your bedtime is at nine. If you had done what you were told, you could have watched most of the movie, and I might have even let you finish it. But I don't think I should reward bratty behavior, do you?"

"No," she mumbled.

"Yeah, me neither. Go do your homework." Kate slumped off the couch and stomped back towards the front door where her backpack was leaning against the wall. She back down at the table, slamming around as much as possible to show her displeasure. Phil sighed quietly from next to him, and Clint kissed his temple, hoping that it might alleviate just a little bit of the stress. Phil sent him a small smile and then they focused on the rest of the movie. As the end credits started to roll, Kate finished up her work, shoved it in her backpack, and announced, "I'm going to bed."

"Did you want me to read to you?" Phil asked.

"No," she responded coldly, marching down the hall towards her bedroom.

"Brush your teeth!" Phil called after her retreating back. The slam of her bedroom door was the only response he got. His shoulders slumped almost immediately, a hand coming up to rub at his temples.

"I don't know what's gotten in to her today," he sighed.

"She's probably just upset because she's worried about her grandfather. That sort of thing is bound to make her cranky, right?" Clint offered.

"Yeah, you're probably right. You don't think I'm being too hard on her do you?"

"Well, I mean...I don't really know much about parenting," Clint admitted. "But she was kind of being a brat. So I don't think it was too bad. She'll get over it."

Yeah," Phil nodded. "You're right." He turned back to his paperwork, most of which was done, with just a few sheets left to go.

"Baby, you should go to bed," Clint prodded. "You're exhausted."

"Yeah, I'm just going to finish this up first. There's not much left."

"Yeah, okay. Me too then," Clint answered. They spent another twenty minutes finishing up their work, and as they were picking up, Kate's bedroom door opened and she appeared in the doorway of the hall a few moments later. She was wearing pajamas with colorful cupcakes all over them and staring down at her toes.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her toes curling into the plush of the carpet. Phil sighed and headed towards her, pulling her into a hug and stroking her hair.

"I know things are out of the ordinary right now," Phil said. "And you're used to coming here and goofing off, but it's a little different right now and I need you to work with me, okay? Can you do that?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I changed my mind. Can you read to me?"

"Of course I can," Phil answered. "But just one chapter, all right? You really do have to get to bed."

"Okay," Kate agreed, and they headed off down the hall. Clint finished straightening up and getting all their work put away so it wouldn't be forgotten in the morning, and then he turned out the lights and headed down the hall as well. Kate's door was propped open and he looked in, seeing Phil and Kate stretched out on her bed, a book held up between them. Phil was reading out loud, his voice soft, and Kate was already drooping against his side.

_"What I am about to tell you I have never said before and you must guard it closely.' I of course said I would. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts,' he said, 'my name is Ryan. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either; his name was Cummberbund. The real original Dread Pirate Roberts has been retired fifteen years and has been living like a king in Patagonia.'_

Clint smiled to himself as Phil read on, his voice changing as he switched between characters. He slowly edged out of the doorway and headed back to his own bedroom, leaving Phil to have a moment with his daughter after a particularly stressful night. He'd been concerned and uncomfortable earlier, but now he was sure that everything would work out fine in the end.

* * *

Clint awoke to the smell of cooking breakfast, which was kind of unusual. Phil cooked breakfast maybe twice a year, preferring instead to eat some sort of pre-made pastry and drink about a liter of coffee on his way out the door. The fact that he was actually cooking breakfast was pretty suspicious. Clint pressed his face into his pillow for a minute and then looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was just past eight am, meaning there was just an hour until Kate had to be at school and Phil and Clint had to be getting to work. Clint had stealth training with the probies all morning, and he was kind of looking forward to pelting them all with paintballs. After a few more minutes of lying around, the smell of frying bacon lured him out of bed.

Kate was seated at the kitchen table in her pajamas with her feet kicking in the empty air above the floor. She had a plate with chocolate chip pancakes and some fluffy scrambled eggs sitting in front of her, and she was drinking from a tall glass of milk. Clint could still hear the bacon crackling on the stove, but he was sure it was soon to come.

"Morning, Katie," he greeted, ruffling her hair as he passed by on his way into the kitchen. She set her cup back down on the table and smiled at him.

"Morning, Clint!" she greeted. "Daddy's making breakfast!"

"I can see that," he responded, and she stuck her tongue out at him. He crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out too, and she giggled before digging into her food.

Phil was standing in front of the stove with a spatula in his hand, already dressed with a plain black apron on to protect his clothes from the popping bacon grease. It was an extremely domestic picture, and Clint wasn't even surprised anymore by how much he liked it. He settled his hands on Phil's hips, gently turning him away from the stove and backing him up against the counter, pressing close for a kiss. Phil didn't resist at all, his body moving forward to press up against Clint's and his free hand trailing up Clint's back and coming to rest on the nape of his neck. The feel of Phil's fingers lightly scratching just above his hairline almost made Clint purr.

"Mmm, morning," Clint said when they pulled back to catch their breath, pushing his forehead against Phil's.

"Morning breath, certainly," Phil answered, making Clint snort.

"Shut up. You love me, morning breath and all." As if to prove it, Clint leaned back in for some more kisses, and Phil certainly didn't deny him.

"I can hear your lips smacking together!" Kate called from the table. "You guys are the worst!"

They both pulled back from each other and grinned a little ruefully, before kissing once more with exaggerated noises. Kate made a scandalized noise, and Clint laughed, backing up so that Phil could save the bacon, which was about thirty seconds from burning.

"Do I get pancakes?" he asked, after casting a glance around and not seeing any.

"Yes, of course," Phil answered. "They're keeping warm in the oven."

"Oooh blueberry!" Clint said when he'd retrieved the plate. Phil had gone all out, apparently. Again, it made Clint kind of suspicious, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he spooned some eggs onto his plate and nabbed a few strips of bacon and a cup of coffee before heading to sit at the table as well. Phil joined them a few minutes later, setting the rest of the eggs and bacon in the center of the table. Kate immediately grabbed a few pieces and started chewing happily.

"Okay, so I have to tell you guys something," Phil started after a few gulps of coffee. Clint sat up straight his eyes narrowing.

"I knew it! I knew this breakfast was suspicious!"

"Yes, yes, very suspicious," Phil responded. "I have to leave town for a few days. Work," he said. Clint knew he couldn't ask about it in front of Kate, but he definitely would later.

"You always have to work," Kate complained, her face falling.

"I know, I'm sorry, but it's very important and I'll only be gone for two days. I'll be back Thursday afternoon, in plenty of time to go to parent-teacher night. You two can manage without me for just two days, right?"

Clint felt a sudden surge of panic at the idea, one he hadn't felt in quite a long time, but he forced it down and smiled easily at Phil.

"Yeah, yeah no problem!" he said. "It'll be great, won't it Katie?"

"Uh huh!" Kate agreed, sounding kind of doubtful.

"Your confidence in me is heartwarming," Clint told her, and she cracked a small smile.

"We'll be okay, Phil. It's just two days. What could happen?"

* * *

He really should have known better than to tempt fate.

The day had pretty much gone as planned. They'd dropped Kate off at school and headed to SHIELD, where they said their goodbyes before Phil went off to debrief with Natasha and Clint went off to his SHIELD-mandated antagonizing of the baby agents. The rest of the work day had been spent testing equipment with R&D and doing his monthly health eval with medical. He got out at two so that he would have enough time to get to Kate's school by three, and that was where the problems started.

He pulled up to the allotted pick-up area, where a ton of other cars waited for the front doors to open and flipped off the engine, knowing it would be at least ten minutes before the kids got out. He settled in to playing Pac-man on his phone, and it was a while before he realized that twenty minutes had passed and Kate still hadn't showed up. He exited out of his game and checked to see if he had any missed calls, but there weren't, and he decided to wait a bit longer.

After fifteen minutes had passed, there were no more kids waiting for cars to come get them, and he began to panic. He decided to take a more hands-on approach to searching and got out of the car to head for the school. Inside, the school was empty and still except for some papers littering the ground and the occasional classroom that held after school clubs and meetings.

He went to the main office, not really sure of where else to go. An older woman wearing a bright yellow cardigan clasped with a jeweled cat pin sat behind the desk, writing something on her computer with the stunted search-and-peck method of someone who was just getting used to using a keyboard.

"Um, hi," he greeted, as he approached, trying to keep his voice calm. "I came to pick up my daughter and she hasn't shown up. I was wondering if she might be attending a club right now and if you maybe had a list of the students who would still be here?"

The woman looked up at him and smiled, but she shook her head. "No, dear, we wouldn't have any sort of record like that. But if you give me her name, I can call her over the intercom. If she's in the school, she'll hear it."

"Oh, jeez, that would be great. Her name's Kate. Kate Bishop."

"Not a problem, honey, this sort of thing happens more often than you would think." She leaned turned away from him and pressed a button on a receiver and spoke.

"If Kate Bishop is in the building, please report to the main office, your father is here to pick you up. I repeat, if Kate Bishop is in the building, please report to the main office."

"Now all you can do is wait, dear," she told him, turning back to her computer. "It shouldn't be more than ten minutes, if she is here."

Clint waited stubbornly for twenty minutes, with the office lady smiling sadly at him the whole time. All sorts of crazy scenarios were running through his brain. He and Phil were SHIELD agents, and they had plenty of enemies between them. Anything could have happened to Kate. She could have been kidnapped or killed. Maybe she was being tortured for information she didn't have. Maybe she was tied up somewhere and terrified, and Clint had no way to find her. Well, actually, he did.

He thanked the receptionist and headed out of the office, dialing a number on his phone as he did so. The line rang only once before it was answered with a cheerful, "Dave's Flower Emporium, how may I help you?"

"Authorization Alpha two six nine eight four five Foxtrot," he said quickly. There was a momentary pause and then the voice responded again, this time brisk and serious.

"Agent Barton, what do you need?"

"I need you to pull file KB-937 and run a facial recognition search on the subject."

"File KB-937 is classified, sir," the voice answered uncertainly. "Level 7 only."

"Then go find someone who is Level 7 and run the goddamn search. Now!" Clint barked, sliding into the car and slamming the door behind him.

"Yes sir!" There was silence for a few minutes, and then the line picked up again, this time by a familiar voice.

"Barton, tell me you lost Kate," Hill sighed, but Clint could hear her fingers clicking on the keyboard in the background.

"I didn't lose her! I brought her to school where she was supposed to be! They lost her!" he insisted.

"Whatever you say," Hill muttered. "The search is running, should be ten minutes, tops."

"Okay, keep me posted." Clint said, and then hung up the phone. He stared at the screen until it went black, wondering if he should attempt to call Michaela or not. He'd hate to have to tell her that he lost her kid, especially before he found her again. He told himself that calling Phil while he was working would just distract him, which could get him hurt. He knew he was putting off the inevitable. They would both have to know. But maybe they didn't have to know right away. After a few minutes his phone rang again and he answered it quickly.

"Barton."

"We've got her. She was last seen entering an apartment building on Fifth Avenue with a man and another little girl."

"Kidnapping ring?" Clint asked.

"Actually, I think she might have just gone to a friend's house," Maria answered dryly.

That stopped Clint short. In all his panicking, he hadn't once considered that maybe she had just gone home with a friend. His mind had immediately jumped to the worst possible scenarios.

"Oh," he answered. "I didn't even think of that. Can I get the address?"

Maria relayed it to him and, feeling kind of dumb, he thanked her, started the car, and headed off to go find his wayward stepdaughter.

Despite obviously being a very rich property (it was fifth avenue, for Christ's sake) there was no doorman, and it was very easy for Clint to just slip in behind someone else and take the elevator up to the right room. He was pretty sure that Maria was right and it was just a friend's house, but if it wasn't, he didn't want to alert them too early and give them time to run.

When he reached the correct apartment door, he very briefly considered kicking the door in, but then decided that knocking would be better. He had his gun and quite a few knives. If shit was about to go down, he was prepared, and if it wasn't, he would feel pretty damn stupid about the property damage. He knocked.

A pretty woman in her thirties opened the door, frowning at him uncertainly, peeking around the edge of the door instead of opening it wide. It was smart of her, even though it obviously meant she found Clint threatening. That was probably smart of her too. He took a breath and went to that place that allowed him to do infiltration on missions, pulling up skills Natasha had spent hours teaching him how to perfect.

"Hi, I'm Clint Coulson," he said, offering a friendly smile and that corn-fed Iowa boy charm. "I'm Kate Bishop's stepfather, is she here?"

"Oh, of course! I'm sorry, I don't believe I've met you before. I hadn't realized Michaela had gotten married again?"

"She didn't, I'm married to Kate's father." Clint explained, still pleasant and smiling.

"Oh!" she said, like she wasn't quite sure what to make of that. "I didn't realize you could do that."

"Well, I mean, it's a domestic partnership, but we don't really differentiate," Clint explained, because he felt like he should say something. It wasn't untrue at any rate, and SHIELD offered them all the same benefits as they would a married couple, so there really wasn't a difference.

"Oh!" she said again, and Clint wondered if he'd just rocked this rich lady's world views. "Well...I'll just...go get Kate for you, shall I?"

"Yeah, thanks," Clint responded awkwardly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. It was only a few minutes before Kate rushed into the room, followed by a curly-haired blonde girl. Clint felt a rush of relief when he saw that she was perfectly fine, but that relief was quickly replaced by anger.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, running off without telling me?" Clint demanded. He wasn't yelling, but his voice was sterner than Kate had ever heard from him before. The smiled slipped off Kate's face and she looked at him uncertainly.

"I always go to Joanna's house on Tuesdays," she said, looking at her friend imploringly.

"She does, it's true," Joanna piped up.

"And you didn't think that it would be a good idea to tell me that?" Clint asked. "I thought something awful had happened to you, I was worried sick!"

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Coulson," Joanna's mother said. "If I had realized of course I would have had her call you…"

"It's alright, it's not your fault," Clint sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He was still furious, but blowing up in front of strangers was definitely not the way to handle this. "Thank you for picking her up. Kate, get your things, we're going home."

"But Joanna just got _Enchanted_ and we were gonna watch it!" Kate protested.

"I'm not sure you realize how angry I am with you right now," Clint told her through clenched teeth. "Get your stuff. Now."

Kate narrowed her eyes at him for a second, a miniature copy of the same look Phil gave to people he was particularly annoyed with. Clint met it dead on, and after a long moment, Kate turned on her heel and stomped off in the direction from which she'd come.

"I feel so awful about this. I hope you won't be too hard on her," Joanna's mother offered tentatively.

"No, it was an honest mistake," Clint sighed. "I was just panicking a bit, you know how it is."

She nodded, and they waited quietly until Kate returned her backpack slung over her shoulder and shoes tied on, her scowl still firmly in place. She was completely silent all the way to the car and for the entire ride home.

"Kate, why didn't you tell me that you would be going to a friend's house after school? Did you think I would say no?" Clint asked after they got into the apartment.

"No," Kate said, staring at the floor. "I just forgot, I swear. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know you didn't," Clint answered, "But you really, really did, Katie. You've got to think about these things. What could I have possibly said to your parents to explain to them that I'd lost you?"

"I dunno," Kate muttered. "I just wanted to watch the movie."

"Yeah, I get that," Clint said. "But you're in trouble, Katie. I get that you didn't do it on purpose, but you have to learn to think about these things. So…" he paused for a moment trying to think of a suitable punishment. "So you're not going to be watching TV until your dad gets back. Okay?"

Kate's head snapped up and her mouth dropped open, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"What?" she demanded.

"You heard me," Clint answered, trying to channel the unconcerned, in control spirit he'd seen in Phil the night before.

"You can't do that!" she responded, sounding so very sure of herself that for a moment, Clint wondered if she was right. And then he remembered that he was twenty-nine and she was ten, and that he was definitely in the position of power here.

"I can, and I am," Clint told her.

"But…"

"No 'buts', Kate!" Clint snapped. "Just do as you're told."

"You can't tell me what to do, you're not my dad!" she shot back. Okay, that stung a bit. Still, he tried not to take it to heart.

"Yeah, I know I'm not your dad. But he's not here and he left me in charge, so I _can_ tell you what to do. And right now I'm telling you that you're not watching any TV until Thursday night. I don't know what's gotten into you, but you've been a downright brat since you got here, and I'm sick of it. Go to your room."

For a moment she just stood there, and he thought she was going to refuse to go. He wasn't sure what he would do if she did that. He supposed he could pick her up and carry her there, but he wondered about manhandling her like that. He knew what it was like to feel physically powerless against an older and stronger authority figure, and he never wanted to make Kate feel that way, but he also knew it would be a huge blow to his authority if she refused to do something and he couldn't make her.

After a few seconds, though, she turned around and headed towards the hall. She barely reached the door frame before she turned back to look over at her shoulder at him, her eyes set in an icy glare.

"I hate you," she spat, and then stomped the rest of the way to her room, slamming the door behind her. Clint let out a shaky breath, collapsing onto the couch with his head in his hands. He'd been shot and stabbed and tortured for information, but nothing hurt like those words that had just been hurled at him by a little girl. He wanted to call Phil or Natasha, but they were both out in the field and probably off grid. Phil would know what to say and what to do. He would be able to reassure Clint that Kate didn't mean her harsh words, and that he didn't have to work harder to get her to like him again. He could put it all together logically in his head, but he couldn't make his brain accept it without Phil there to tell him.

He'd always been a runner, ever since he was a kid, and he wanted desperately to run now. But Kate was just a kid herself. He couldn't run from this. But he wasn't sure that he was equipped to handle anything else. Not knowing what else to do, Clint tried to put it out of his mind. He turned on the TV to some mindless cooking show and settled down onto the couch to watch it, hoping it would be enough to distract his brain. Apparently it was, because he fell asleep not long after that.

When he woke up again it was almost six, and he decided to order pizza instead of cooking. He felt drained and he just didn't have the energy to argue with Kate anymore tonight. Pizza was a food she would never turn down, he knew. When the food arrived, he knocked on Kate's door and told her to come eat. She didn't respond verbally, but she did come out and eat, not saying a word to him the entire time. He didn't push her to talk, just let her pout. Despite his nap, he was tired, and he was missing Phil, and for the first time ever, he was counting down the minutes until Kate went home with her mother.

After they finished eating, Kate disappeared back into her room without a word, and Clint just showered and curled up in bed, burying his face in Phil's pillow.

* * *

Wednesday was much of the same, Kate being quiet and subdued, but no longer bratty, which Clint was thankful for. He'd tried to start a conversation a few times, but Kate hadn't seemed all that interested in talking so he'd let it go. But he'd dwelled on it all day while he was at work and Kate was at school, and by the time she'd slid into the passenger seat after school, Clint was determined to get her to tell him what was wrong.

"Kate, we need to talk," he started, and she didn't say anything. "I realize that you're angry with my for taking your TV privileges, but there is clearly something bigger going on here and I want to know what it is. I know you're a good kid, and you're a really sweet girl, so I don't understand why you're acting like this. Not just to me, but to your dad as well. What is the deal, Katie-Kate?"

She was staring determinedly out the window, avoiding looking at him, and Clint sighed, pressing on.

"Did something happen? Did we do something to upset you? Because I can't do anything to fix it if you won't tell me what it is."

Still she remained quiet, and Clint just sighed again.

"Okay, I can't make you talk to me. But if you want to tell me what the deal is, I'm willing to listen, okay? I don't want you to be upset, Katie."

The rest of the drive was silent, and Kate went directly to her room as soon as they were in the apartment. Clint wondered if anything he'd said to her at all had had any effect on her. He settled on the couch again, for lack of something better to do, and flipped on the TV to some random football game that he was pretty sure was a rerun. It didn't really matter because he wasn't actually watching. Finally, he grabbed Phil's laptop from the bottom shelf of the coffee table, settling in to checking his emails and trying to find out anything he could about Phil's mission. Most of it was locked down pretty tight, but he was able to see that it was still on the timetable they'd set for it. He was considering trying to use his security clearance to wrangle out more information when Kate appeared at the end of the couch and sat down. Clint closed the lid of the laptop and then switched the TV off, waiting for her to talk.

"There's this boy in my class," she started, and for one horrifying moment Clint was sure she was going to tell him that she had a crush, which was totally ridiculous because she was just a baby and she didn't even need to be thinking about boys for another twenty years at least.

"His name is Jack Weston and he's a jerk," she informed him, which set him at ease. "The teacher read my essay about Disney World to the whole class because she liked it so much, and during recess Jack started asking why I had two dads, and I told him about you and how I still had a mom too, and that I only saw you guys on weekends sometimes. And he asked why I only saw you every other week if we live in the same city, and I told him I didn't know. And he said it was probably because you guys don't really want me around because I get in the way and I'm annoying and you can't do fun adult stuff when I'm around. And I didn't think he was right, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And then you guys kept kissing like I wasn't even there and when I mentioned parent-teacher night, you looked at each other like you really didn't want to go. And I thought that maybe Jack was right. So I thought I would see what daddy would do if I wasn't as good as I usually was. I just wanted to see, and he was so mad, but he still came in and read me a story when I asked him to. So I thought it was okay, but then he had to go work until Thursday right after that. And I thought maybe that he was just saying that. He is working right? He didn't just leave cos he was mad at me?"

Her eyes were tearing up now, and Clint felt like such a jerk. He didn't think they had ever made Kate feel like she was unwelcome, but maybe they had, if she was able to let a little jerk's words get to her so much.

"Oh, Katie, of course not," he promised her, sliding across the couch and gathering the girl up against his side. "He really did have to work, I promise you. Your dad is a really important guy and a lot of stuff can't get done without him around, but I promise you that he loves you so much. He'd spend every minute with you if he could. And I would too. You're a great kid, Katie. When you're not deliberately trying to piss us off, that is."

Kate laughed a little, sending him a watery smile past her tears.

"I'm sorry I was being so awful. I don't hate you, Clint."

"I know, Katie," he responded, but the words did a lot to soothe the hurt he'd felt. He kissed the top of her head, and she wrapped her arms around his middle and leaned into him. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt, but he didn't really mind. "You can't go playing around with people's emotions like that, though. If you ever think there's a problem between you and me or you and your dad, you need to talk to us. We can't read your mind, and if you're just acting out there's nothing we can do but get angry."

"I know. I'm sorry, I won't do it again," she murmured.

"It's okay." He paused and thought for a moment before tentatively asking, "Does it really bother you that much when your dad and I kiss?"

She made a face, but then shook her head. "Not really. I mean, kind of. I like that you guys are in love with each other, and I'm glad you're my stepdad. But I wish you wouldn't do it so much. It's kinda gross."

Clint laughed out loud and mussed her hair. "Okay. I can't make any promises, but I'll work on toning it down when you're around, okay?"

"Okay," Kate agreed.

They fell silent for a few minutes, Clint thinking about everything Kate had told him and trying to make sure he'd covered it all. After a few minutes he spoke up again.

"You know I love you, right? I love it when you come to visit. You're such a cool kid, and we have a lot of fun together, right?"

Again, Kate smiled. "Yeah," she agreed. "I love you too."

"Okay, good. I'm glad we've got this sorted out. Now...I think after such an emotional talk, I need some ice cream. How does ice cream sound to you?" he asked.

"Ice cream sounds good," she said.

"Great, go grab your coat."

As Kate rushed out of the room, Clint sighed and leaned his head back against the couch. Somehow, he felt like he'd passed some weird parenting test. He wondered if he got some sort of cosmic gold star for managing to figure it out without the help of Phil or Nat.

But when Kate came back in the room with a smile on her face, he figured that was reward enough.

* * *

"And this is my desk!" Kate said, leading them to a desk next to the window that looked like all the other desks except that it had a colorful name tag taped to it that said KATE in big letters. "It's really good because I can look out the window and see stuff going on outside when I get bored," she explained.

"Well I'm glad that you have something to do instead of listening to your teacher," Phil answered dryly. Kate ignored him, choosing instead to grab Phil's hand and pull them towards the back of the room. "And this is my cubby! We hang our backpacks up here and when we get work back, it goes in our cubbies so we can pick it all up at the same time. Again, her cubby was exactly the same as all the other but for the piece of masking tape with her name written on it stuck to the bottom edge.

"Very cool, Katie," Clint offered, and she grinned at him.

"Oh, there's Joanna! I'm gonna go say hi!" Kate rushed off to greet her friend who had just entered the room, and they both watched her go fondly.

"She seems to be in a much better mood," Phil said.

"Yeah, there was this whole thing, but I sorted it out," Clint told him casually. Judging by the slightly raised eyebrow, Phil wasn't at all fooled. "I'll tell you about it later."

"Yeah, okay," Phil agreed, "As long as everything's okay now."

"Yeah," Clint assured him. "Everything's great."


End file.
